I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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