Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
