also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
