some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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