very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
