her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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