Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Someone signed my nipple.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
