OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
