Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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