i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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