yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
