Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize