He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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