You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
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