no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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