Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Randomize
