So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
