i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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