Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
