I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
