I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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