everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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