I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So here I am, sexting at work.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
