Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
