Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
