You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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