you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
