Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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