I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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