wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
