One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
