Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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