i was rollin on her like bob the builder
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
