Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
