I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
