He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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