***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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