we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
