Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
