david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
