If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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