For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
