Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
