sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
