You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
