My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
