i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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