I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
