He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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