Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
