i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
