I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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