Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize