Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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