Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
