Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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