but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
