I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
