This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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