remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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