2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Randomize
