Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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