Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
