dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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