I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
