You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
