oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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