this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
