i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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